Unity in marriage

Am I too focused on my kids? Do I spend more time and attention with them than with my husband? According to Rosemond (2007) when God said in Genesis 2:24 that the husband is to be united to his wife and they become one flesh, it means more than a physical relationship. It also means "no other relationship or enterprise of any sort should come before their relationship with each other (p.117)." Wow. Like so many things it is pretty easy to read, much harder to comprehend and put into practice.

What percentage of time do you spend in a parental role vs. a spousal role? Most folks fall into to 90% parent/ 10% spouse category. A better ratio would be 40%/60%, but ideally partners should strive for 25% parent / 75% spouse. You have to spend time on the marriage relationship to strengthen the family as a whole. So what can I do to improve my ratio?

1. Take time to help hubby with outdoor chores.
2. Go for a joy ride with him in the convertible.
3. Schedule a date night - be willing to see action/adventure movies :-)
4. Remember to parent together as a team. Don't allow the kids to "play" us against each other.


Rosemond suggests that the result of being too child focused is that children lack good model of strong marriage; they develop sense of entitlement; they don't receive appropriate discipline, and finally, when it is time for them to move out they don't want to because they have it too easy at home.

Reference:

Rosemond, J. (2007). Parenting by the Book: Biblical wisdom for raising your child. Howard Books: New York.