One of the best Christmas gifts I ever got was a poem. Miranda wrote her version of "Where I'm From" and framed it for me. I decided to write my own for my mom. Consider writing one for yourself. Use this template to get you started. Here's my poem.
WHERE I'M FROM
I am from apron strings, from Red Man, and rabbit dogs.
I am from the house up the dirt path.
I am from the magnolia, the tobacco, and the red clay.
I am from strawberry waffles on Christmas and strong-willed determination,
from Luby Rand and Bertha Ann and the McLains.
I am from stubbornness and witty sarcasm.
From meaner-than-a-two-headed-snake and too-independent-for-your-own-good.
I am from the hand of the Creator and saved by Grace.
I'm from North Carolina, collard greens, and sweet tea.
From the Pa who “took away” warts, the Granny who let me drink coffee, the Daddy taken so young, and the Mama who persevered through it all.
I am from shoe boxes full of photos we will caption “next time” with their crew cuts, shining eyes, and dark lips smiling up at me.
Wendy Renee Windham McLain
2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Make your kids feel bad?
Maybe the biggest thing that stuck out for me in Chapter 6, was that you SHOULD make your kids feel bad -- for bad behavior and wrong thinking.
When children deliberately say contrary things and challenge everything their parents say, Rosemond suggests this is evidence of wrong thinking and considers it misbehavior in need of discipline. What sort of discipline? Let's say you've just commented on how bright and blue the sky seems today and your child insists it is green or even red. If the child is very young you may have him/her sit in a chair until they are willing to agree with the parental statement. If the child is old enough to write, perhaps you have them write lines: "the sky is blue" 100 times.
Another situation to correct swiftly is a child throwing a tantrum or laughing/crying inappropriately. The child should be removed from the setting, be talked to sternly, and made to apologize.
Some scary statistics:
Of 5110 waking hours per year...
1260 are spent at school
360 are spent on homework
208 are spent on after school activities
1040 are spent watching TV (that's 3 hours a day)
365 are spent on video/computer games
365 are spent on the Internet
365 are spent with friends
365 are spent with toys or doing nothing
104 are spent in youth group
That leaves 678 hours of parental influence - of which the parents are probably busy half that time - leaving only about 339 hours.
Some tough questions:
Are you willing to remove TV and computer from the child's bedroom? Are you willing to cut back on your own use of TV and computer to be more available to your child?
When children deliberately say contrary things and challenge everything their parents say, Rosemond suggests this is evidence of wrong thinking and considers it misbehavior in need of discipline. What sort of discipline? Let's say you've just commented on how bright and blue the sky seems today and your child insists it is green or even red. If the child is very young you may have him/her sit in a chair until they are willing to agree with the parental statement. If the child is old enough to write, perhaps you have them write lines: "the sky is blue" 100 times.
Another situation to correct swiftly is a child throwing a tantrum or laughing/crying inappropriately. The child should be removed from the setting, be talked to sternly, and made to apologize.
Some scary statistics:
Of 5110 waking hours per year...
1260 are spent at school
360 are spent on homework
208 are spent on after school activities
1040 are spent watching TV (that's 3 hours a day)
365 are spent on video/computer games
365 are spent on the Internet
365 are spent with friends
365 are spent with toys or doing nothing
104 are spent in youth group
That leaves 678 hours of parental influence - of which the parents are probably busy half that time - leaving only about 339 hours.
Some tough questions:
Are you willing to remove TV and computer from the child's bedroom? Are you willing to cut back on your own use of TV and computer to be more available to your child?
Scared pee-less
I really thought it would be fine. I mean Trixie is nervous around thunder and lightening, but she has gotten better because I don't baby her when we hear/see it. So I figure Friday was a good time to get her desensitized to other loud noises. The girls had just a few fireworks to light and a the whole family went out to watch. I put Trixie on a leash to keep her close to me on the porch. The first thing they lit shot sparkles straight up, but it wasn't loud. Trixie started dancing around and whining. Still, I thought if I stayed calm she would calm down too. I didn't count of the neighbor lighting fireworks... He happened to light one that shot sparkles all around in a spinning circle and made firecracker pops. Trixie took off for the door. Her reflex was quicker than mine. She pulled her leash from my hand and didn't stop until she hit her head on the wood. I ran after her to pick her up and soothe her. She was so scared she peed on us both. I watched the rest of the fireworks from the kitchen window, but Trixie was so scared she cowered in her bed. I couldn't get her to go outside for the rest of the night. Even the next morning she was still a little afraid.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Unity in marriage
Am I too focused on my kids? Do I spend more time and attention with them than with my husband? According to Rosemond (2007) when God said in Genesis 2:24 that the husband is to be united to his wife and they become one flesh, it means more than a physical relationship. It also means "no other relationship or enterprise of any sort should come before their relationship with each other (p.117)." Wow. Like so many things it is pretty easy to read, much harder to comprehend and put into practice.
What percentage of time do you spend in a parental role vs. a spousal role? Most folks fall into to 90% parent/ 10% spouse category. A better ratio would be 40%/60%, but ideally partners should strive for 25% parent / 75% spouse. You have to spend time on the marriage relationship to strengthen the family as a whole. So what can I do to improve my ratio?
1. Take time to help hubby with outdoor chores.
2. Go for a joy ride with him in the convertible.
3. Schedule a date night - be willing to see action/adventure movies :-)
4. Remember to parent together as a team. Don't allow the kids to "play" us against each other.
Rosemond suggests that the result of being too child focused is that children lack good model of strong marriage; they develop sense of entitlement; they don't receive appropriate discipline, and finally, when it is time for them to move out they don't want to because they have it too easy at home.
Reference:
Rosemond, J. (2007). Parenting by the Book: Biblical wisdom for raising your child. Howard Books: New York.
What percentage of time do you spend in a parental role vs. a spousal role? Most folks fall into to 90% parent/ 10% spouse category. A better ratio would be 40%/60%, but ideally partners should strive for 25% parent / 75% spouse. You have to spend time on the marriage relationship to strengthen the family as a whole. So what can I do to improve my ratio?
1. Take time to help hubby with outdoor chores.
2. Go for a joy ride with him in the convertible.
3. Schedule a date night - be willing to see action/adventure movies :-)
4. Remember to parent together as a team. Don't allow the kids to "play" us against each other.
Rosemond suggests that the result of being too child focused is that children lack good model of strong marriage; they develop sense of entitlement; they don't receive appropriate discipline, and finally, when it is time for them to move out they don't want to because they have it too easy at home.
Reference:
Rosemond, J. (2007). Parenting by the Book: Biblical wisdom for raising your child. Howard Books: New York.
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