Toastmasters Speech – Intentional Kindness (9/15/10, 7 minutes)

Toastmasters Speech – Intentional Kindness (9/15/10, 7 minutes)
Purpose – To inspire the audience to understand and perform an intentional act of kindness.

Good afternoon fellow Toastmasters and guests. In the last couple of meetings, you’ve learned a little about me. There’s something else you should know: I’m not a kind person. I’m not a mean person; I’m just not naturally considerate and helpful. I sometimes forget birthdays; I rarely help with yard work; and I almost never share my “good chocolate.” I decided that I want to be a kinder person. I’m going to tell you how I plan to do it and I hope that you will be inspired to join me.

You have probably all heard the phrase “Random Acts of Kindness”. If you have ever benefited from a random act of kindness, you know that it provides a positive boost to your day. At a Starbucks recently, my daughter learned that the person ahead of her had already paid her tab. She was very excited when she told me about it. She was smiling and bouncy as she filled me in on what happened. Clearly it “made her day.”

A few things I’ve experienced include: a free bottle of water on a hot day, permission to go ahead of someone in the checkout line, a stranger on the fishing pier offering to unhook the fish that my daughter caught but was afraid to touch. I bet if you try you can remember a time you were the recipient of a random act of kindness. How did it make you feel? It makes me smile to think that someone who doesn’t even know me would take the time to be so considerate and helpful to me. It got me thinking, if a single random act can have such a positive impact, how much more impact could be made if we decided to be intentional about kindness?

Random implies that something happens by chance, in a hit-or-miss or casual way. The action may deliver a positive boost to the recipient, but it doesn’t do much to build a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I think Random Acts of Kindness are good. I just believe that maybe Intentional Acts of Kindness are even better.

Intentional implies something that is planned and purposeful. Intentional acts of kindness tell someone that you know them and that you've noticed their needs. It tells them you’ve made a conscious choice to give, to help, to share, or to comfort. So how do we get intentional about being kind?

1. Choose your target. Although we may choose to show kindness to a stranger, generally intentional kindness will be directed an individual or group of people that we want to build a stronger relationship with.
a. Family member, co-worker, friend, or acquaintance.
2. The next step is to Notice details.
a. What do they like; what makes them smile? (certain foods, a picture, a joke)
b. What stresses them out? (certain chores; can I do anything to minimize it)
3. These details will help us Identify a need.
a. Do I know someone in a sticky situation? Let’s say my neighbor’s husband is out of town and she needs to make sure their kids get on the bus in the morning, but can’t be late to work. Maybe I could offer to let the kids stand in my yard so she can get to work on time.
b. Do I know someone in need of extra encouragement? Maybe a co-worker is trying to work up the nerve to give a prepared speech. I could offer to help her rehearse.
4. Be deliberate. Intentional acts of kindness often require planning.
a. For example, if I notice that my niece needs a night out. I wouldn’t just show up and say, I’m here to watch the baby. Instead, I may help her husband plan a surprise evening out – including baby-sitting services on the night they choose.
5. Finally, Sacrifice something of yourself.
a. Give of - your time, your resources, or your knowledge.

With this strategy in mind, here are some of the things I’m going to do to be more intentional about showing kindness.

• Remember family and friends birthdays with a card, note, or phone call.
• Share the “good chocolate” with my daughter when she has a hard day at school.
• And though I don’t plan to begin doing yard work, I will bring my husband a glass of water or tool he needs while he is working in the yard!

I’m looking forward to knowing that something I choose to do may brighten someone’s day. If you need a little more encouragement to join me in getting intentional about showing kindness, consider this: Intentional kindness doesn’t just make the recipient’s day; it can make you feel happier too.