Things I love (Toastmasters Speech – 7/21/10)

Things I love (Toastmasters Speech – 7/21/10, 5 minutes)

I’m Wendy and I’m here to tell you about some of the things I love.

I love dark chocolate. I think I get my love of chocolate from my Grandpa. One of my earliest memories is eating WaHoo and biscuits with him. WaHoo was what he called the homemade chocolate syrup my Granny would make for us. He also kept a stash of chocolate candy. There was always a carton of Whoppers at the top of his closet. Us kids would line up with our cupped hands outstretched and ask for “chocolate balls”. We would compare to see who got the biggest, the smallest and the most. One time I got 9! I keep a stash of chocolate too. In kitchen cabinet and my office desk drawer I keep chocolate squares: 72% and 86% cocoa.

I love dogs. Kittens are cute, but I love dogs. The first dog I remember was our black lab, Amy. My mama had great faith in Amy’s babysitting skills. We lived in the country, up a dirt path. When my cousin and I were sent outside to play, Amy went with us. We would walk down the path and pick blackberries - Amy went with us, wander through the garden and pull up carrots, wipe the dirt on our clothes and eat them - Amy was with us, and dig holes in the yard with spoons from Granny’s kitchen. Amy was right there, our partner in crime. My grandpa also had hunting dogs – beagles. They weren’t supposed to be pets, but he would sometimes bring one up to the house for me to play with. My current dog is a mini dachshund. She isn’t much protection and she doesn’t hunt, but she is pretty good at digging holes in the yard.

I love the mountains. My first visit to the mountains was Grandfather Mountain in North Carolina. As a child I was terrified of the “Mile High Swinging Bridge”. I went back a few years ago and it isn’t nearly as scary as I remember it. The roads are all paved and there are guard rails on every turn. During high school I lived in Nevada. You can see mountains in every direction. There’s Grindstone, Buckskin, Swales, and Mary’s Mountain. The Ruby Mountains have snow on them year round. Last week, I went camping in the Jarbidge Mountains in Nevada. It is a 3 hour drive from “town” with no paved roads, no guardrails, and no cell phone service. We saw antelope and deer, a fox and different types of wildflowers. If you hike or drive up to the peak, you can see for miles. From one point you can see all the way to Idaho. According to my daughter, THAT is scary.

I love my family. My dad was one of 13 children and last time I counted I had 32 cousins. He died when I was 2 and we moved from North Carolina to Idaho and then to Nevada, so I didn’t get to know that side of the family very well. My mom and sister live in North Carolina between the mountains and the beach. My brother lives in Nevada in the town where I went to high school. I have a niece and grandniece in Colorado, but they leave for Germany soon since my nephew-in-law Sergeant Seely is being stationed there (after 3 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan). I’ve been married to my husband, John for 19 years. We have 2 girls in high school: Miranda, 16 and Melissa, 14. In some ways we are opposites:
o While I love chocolate – they love vanilla
o While I love dogs – they love cats
o While I love the mountains – they love the beach
o But… I love my family – and they love me.

Things I'd like to do...

In no particular order:

1. snorkeling
2. learn to 2 step / country dancing
3. travel overseas / Europe, etc.
4. go on a cruise
5. serve in a soup kitchen
6. serve on a mission trip US and non-US
7. white water river rafting
8. train service dogs (puppy stage)/ foster rescued dogs
9. hot air balloon ride
9. helicopter ride in the grand canyon
10. deep sea fishing

And more...

Back to School

I don't know what is weirder, starting school on a Friday or starting on the 8th day of August! We have now survived 3 whole days of school. No one has been lost in the dungeons of DTHS or PVMS. I've been told it is impossible to eat lunch at DTHS because of the hordes of students converging on the lunch line and the snack machines are too sensitive to take a wrinkled dollar. Luckily, no one has perished from starvation, YET.

Coolest gift ever

One of the best Christmas gifts I ever got was a poem. Miranda wrote her version of "Where I'm From" and framed it for me. I decided to write my own for my mom. Consider writing one for yourself. Use this template to get you started. Here's my poem.

WHERE I'M FROM


I am from apron strings, from Red Man, and rabbit dogs.
I am from the house up the dirt path.
I am from the magnolia, the tobacco, and the red clay.
I am from strawberry waffles on Christmas and strong-willed determination,
from Luby Rand and Bertha Ann and the McLains.
I am from stubbornness and witty sarcasm.
From meaner-than-a-two-headed-snake and too-independent-for-your-own-good.
I am from the hand of the Creator and saved by Grace.
I'm from North Carolina, collard greens, and sweet tea.
From the Pa who “took away” warts, the Granny who let me drink coffee, the Daddy taken so young, and the Mama who persevered through it all.
I am from shoe boxes full of photos we will caption “next time” with their crew cuts, shining eyes, and dark lips smiling up at me.


Wendy Renee Windham McLain
2008

Make your kids feel bad?

Maybe the biggest thing that stuck out for me in Chapter 6, was that you SHOULD make your kids feel bad -- for bad behavior and wrong thinking.

When children deliberately say contrary things and challenge everything their parents say, Rosemond suggests this is evidence of wrong thinking and considers it misbehavior in need of discipline. What sort of discipline? Let's say you've just commented on how bright and blue the sky seems today and your child insists it is green or even red. If the child is very young you may have him/her sit in a chair until they are willing to agree with the parental statement. If the child is old enough to write, perhaps you have them write lines: "the sky is blue" 100 times.

Another situation to correct swiftly is a child throwing a tantrum or laughing/crying inappropriately. The child should be removed from the setting, be talked to sternly, and made to apologize.

Some scary statistics:
Of 5110 waking hours per year...
1260 are spent at school
360 are spent on homework
208 are spent on after school activities
1040 are spent watching TV (that's 3 hours a day)
365 are spent on video/computer games
365 are spent on the Internet
365 are spent with friends
365 are spent with toys or doing nothing
104 are spent in youth group
That leaves 678 hours of parental influence - of which the parents are probably busy half that time - leaving only about 339 hours.

Some tough questions:
Are you willing to remove TV and computer from the child's bedroom? Are you willing to cut back on your own use of TV and computer to be more available to your child?

Scared pee-less

I really thought it would be fine. I mean Trixie is nervous around thunder and lightening, but she has gotten better because I don't baby her when we hear/see it. So I figure Friday was a good time to get her desensitized to other loud noises. The girls had just a few fireworks to light and a the whole family went out to watch. I put Trixie on a leash to keep her close to me on the porch. The first thing they lit shot sparkles straight up, but it wasn't loud. Trixie started dancing around and whining. Still, I thought if I stayed calm she would calm down too. I didn't count of the neighbor lighting fireworks... He happened to light one that shot sparkles all around in a spinning circle and made firecracker pops. Trixie took off for the door. Her reflex was quicker than mine. She pulled her leash from my hand and didn't stop until she hit her head on the wood. I ran after her to pick her up and soothe her. She was so scared she peed on us both. I watched the rest of the fireworks from the kitchen window, but Trixie was so scared she cowered in her bed. I couldn't get her to go outside for the rest of the night. Even the next morning she was still a little afraid.

Unity in marriage

Am I too focused on my kids? Do I spend more time and attention with them than with my husband? According to Rosemond (2007) when God said in Genesis 2:24 that the husband is to be united to his wife and they become one flesh, it means more than a physical relationship. It also means "no other relationship or enterprise of any sort should come before their relationship with each other (p.117)." Wow. Like so many things it is pretty easy to read, much harder to comprehend and put into practice.

What percentage of time do you spend in a parental role vs. a spousal role? Most folks fall into to 90% parent/ 10% spouse category. A better ratio would be 40%/60%, but ideally partners should strive for 25% parent / 75% spouse. You have to spend time on the marriage relationship to strengthen the family as a whole. So what can I do to improve my ratio?

1. Take time to help hubby with outdoor chores.
2. Go for a joy ride with him in the convertible.
3. Schedule a date night - be willing to see action/adventure movies :-)
4. Remember to parent together as a team. Don't allow the kids to "play" us against each other.


Rosemond suggests that the result of being too child focused is that children lack good model of strong marriage; they develop sense of entitlement; they don't receive appropriate discipline, and finally, when it is time for them to move out they don't want to because they have it too easy at home.

Reference:

Rosemond, J. (2007). Parenting by the Book: Biblical wisdom for raising your child. Howard Books: New York.